Resources for Parents in High-Conflict Divorce Situations
A Resource Guide for Illinois Parents
Navigating a high-conflict divorce is one of the most challenging experiences a parent can face. The resources below — books, Illinois-specific legal tools, organizations, and technology — have been selected and verified to support parents, practitioners, and advocates working in this area.
BOOKS
Eddy, Bill. BIFF: Quick Responses to High-Conflict People, Their Personal Attacks, Hostile Email and Social Media Meltdowns. 2nd ed. Unhooked Media, 2014. ISBN: 978-1936268726.
A practical guide to writing brief, informative, friendly, and firm responses to hostile communications — especially useful for managing emails and texts with a difficult co-parent.
Eddy, Bill. BIFF for CoParent Communication: Your Guide to Difficult Texts, Emails, and Social Media Posts. Unhooked Media, 2020.
An adaptation of the BIFF method focused specifically on co-parenting communication challenges.
Eddy, Bill. Don’t Alienate the Kids! Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce. 10th anniversary ed. Unhooked Media, 2020. ISBN: 978-1950057948.
Guides parents on protecting children from the harm of alienation and high-conflict dynamics while building children’s resilience.
Eddy, Bill. The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide: Reclaim Your Life One Week at a Time. Unhooked Media, 2022.
A week-by-week workbook format for parents navigating ongoing high-conflict co-parenting situations.
Eddy, Bill, and Randi Kreger. Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. New Harbinger Publications, 2011.
Covers legal strategies and emotional self-protection for those divorcing a partner with high-conflict personality traits.
Ross, Julie A., and Judy Corcoran. Joint Custody with a Jerk: Raising a Child with an Uncooperative Ex. Rev. ed. St. Martin’s Griffin, 2011. ISBN: 978-0312584207.
A hands-on guide to communicating with a difficult ex-spouse, with scripts and practical strategies for common conflict scenarios.
Baker, Amy J. L., Ph.D. Adult Children of Parental Alienation Syndrome: Breaking the Ties That Bind. W. W. Norton & Company, 2007. ISBN: 978-0393705195.
An examination of the long-term impact of parental alienation on children and adults, drawing on interviews and research.
ILLINOIS-SPECIFIC LEGAL RESOURCES
Illinois Legal Aid Online
Free legal information and self-help tools covering divorce, parenting plans, allocation of parental responsibilities, and enforcement of court orders. Includes the Parenting Plan Easy Form.
- Divorce and Parental Responsibilities
- Parenting Plan (Easy Form)
- Enforcing a Joint Parenting Plan or Agreement
- Parent Education Program in Divorce
Illinois Supreme Court Rule 909 — Parenting Coordinators
Effective May 24, 2023, Rule 909 established a formal parenting coordinator program for Illinois courts. In high-conflict cases where parents cannot agree on day-to-day parenting matters, a court may appoint a trained parenting coordinator — a licensed mental health or family law professional — to resolve disputes without returning to court.
Rule 909 — Official Text (Illinois Supreme Court PDF)
ORGANIZATIONS & WEBSITES
High Conflict Institute highconflictinstitute.com
Founded by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. Offers articles, online courses, podcasts, and professional training on managing high-conflict personalities in family law, divorce, and co-parenting. Includes the New Ways for Families® program, an evidence-informed method used in family courts.
- New Ways for Families Online Program
- Podcast: It’s All Your Fault! — hosted by Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter (available on major podcast platforms)
Illinois Coalition Against Domestic Violence (ICADV) ilcadv.org
Statewide network connecting survivors to local domestic violence organizations. Includes a provider map for finding confidential 24/7 local services.
Phone: 217-789-2830
Illinois Domestic Violence Hotline
Available 24/7 in over 240 languages. Provides crisis safety planning and referrals to emergency housing and support services.
Call or text: 877-863-6338 (877-TO-END-DV)
the-network.org/illinois-domestic-violence-hotline
Illinois Department of Human Services — Domestic Violence Prevention and Intervention dhs.state.il.us
Information on state-funded domestic violence services including shelter, safety planning, and legal advocacy.
CO-PARENTING COMMUNICATION TOOLS
These apps create timestamped, unalterable records of co-parent communications that can be submitted as evidence in court. Many Illinois judges order their use in high-conflict custody cases.
OurFamilyWizard ourfamilywizard.com
Shared calendars, secure messaging, expense tracking, and a ToneMeter that flags emotionally charged language before sending. Widely used and court-ordered in Illinois family courts.
TalkingParents talkingparents.com
Secure, court-admissible communication records for separated parents. Designed specifically for high-conflict situations.
This resource list is for informational purposes only and does not constitute legal advice. For guidance specific to your situation, consult a licensed Illinois attorney.
